Options!

Have you had the bill collector call on an overdue bill and you're short of cash? You may have asked, "What are my options?" Yesterday I presented a similar question to my oncologist concerning the 5 inch melanoma tumor in my back which is wrapped around my aorta and ureter.

Our discussion concluded that the tumor is too big for radiation and even if we did go that route, more damage could possibly be done to the surrounding organs and tissue. How about radioactive implants? I asked. Pretty much the same answer as before. Since the melanoma has metastasized, removing it from one area is not the cure.

Therefore the clinical trial chemo that I'm on is the only hope for killing the cancer cells. So I press on and am thankful that in spite of the side affects, that I'm basically doing well.

Writing this reminds me of all the options that I have when I get up in the morning. Number one is mentally deciding whether I'm going to have a good day or a bad day. Since I'm a follower of Jesus Christ, I normally decide on the good day. If not, wouldn't I be saying to God that, "You can't handle what I'm going through today?" My God is bigger than that and I trust that your God is too!

Thanks to each of you for notes, emails, cards, prayers, and to Bob and Anne for the uplifting CD.

Flawless

What would it be like to have a flawless body? Until my latest bout with cancer, I thought that my body was almost flawless. Well, maybe I was a little overweight! The eyes were failing, but I fixed that by wearing bifocals. My sore back only acted up when I twisted the wrong way or lifted something that was too heavy.

This last week was a real reminder that I'm still living in the realm of the flawed. After having the stent between my kidney and bladder replaced, I was completely wiped out and useless for the rest of the day. Even though this is my week off of chemo (I have it 3 Thursdays out of 4), I still needed the blood test which revealed that my white cell count (immune system) was very low. Boy am I flawed!

While going through the Old Testament for my daily time with God, I read 2 Samuel 22:31, "...the words of the LORD are flawless." This was worth pondering. Everything on the earth is flawed in some way. It's either dying or deteriorating, but here is an exception~~God's Word! So with limited time to spend here on earth, what will I do with my time? Spend it with flawed, temporal things or with something that is eternal? Flawless? God's Word?

Interesting that this topic would come up when so many are wondering what will happen tomorrow. Some are saying that the rapture will take place and others that the end of the world will come. I don't know about you, but as for Mary and me, we have placed our faith and hope is Jesus Christ as our Lord and Savior. Bring it on. We're ready!

Finger Nails

If you've ever had a really bad itch, you know why God gave us fingernails! Several weeks ago my fingernails started looking and feeling like I'd hit them with a hammer. They continue to function as scratchers, but not as before due to their being sensitive. This is a result of the chemo and it is now spreading to my toenails. Since I don't scratch with my toenails, that isn't a problem, but the sensitivity slightly affects my walking. Before this chemo started in January, I didn't have an excuse for forgetting things or tiring out while Mary pushed ahead as we walked around the lake or Walmart. Now I can blame all of my shortcomings on the chemo!

Why do I need a reason for not being perfect? Why do I have to blame someone or something? Isn't human nature interesting? How grateful I am for the promises in God's Word~they assure me that I don't have to be perfect for God accepts me just as I am. One day Jesus will return to take ALL of His own home or someday He'll call ME home. Then I'll be free of pain, and this aging body will be with Him forever! With no more itching, I won't even need these fingernails anymore!

Don't forget to thank God everyday for the little things~like your fingernails. I regularly thank God for you and your prayers for Mary and me as we continue this journey.

Running Late

Our weekly drive to Tucson normally takes about 2 hours, and we allow an extra 15 minutes for traffic, etc. This week we didn't move at one portion of the trip for 15 minutes due to road construction. Whoops! There went our cushion, and I was on a rather tight schedule at the Cancer Center. We weren't too late for the routine lab visit to see if my blood count was high enough for the chemo treatment, but then the time crunch arrived. The chemo infusions were running close to an hour behind schedule which meant I would finish at 3:00pm. I had an appointment for a CT scan at 3 o'clock down the street, which was the latest they could do the CT scan!

Food is an important part of my daily life, and I had to fast for 2 hours before the CT scan. Normally I'm encouraged to have a snack while receiving my infusion, but because of the delay, I had to grab a snack of apple sauce before the chemo so that I could observe the 2 hour fast.

God is good! The chemo infusion ended at 2:45 and I was able to make the CT scan at 3:00pm! Between 5:00 and 7:00pm, Mary and I had dinner. A brain scan was scheduled for me at 7:00pm~the earliest they could fit me in.

We arrived home after a long and tiring day of 13 hours! What did I learn? Wait on God and don't get nervous or impatient which is really difficult for me.

Oh, by the way, my oncologist called and informed me that the brain scan didn't reveal any bad stuff growing there. That's good news! The CT scan showed the tumor had grown by a slight amount (1 cm), so we'll be able to continue the present chemo treatment. That's just news that reminds me of Who is in control of this whole ordeal. Your concern and prayers are a great encouragement. Thank you.