Emotions

After doing this chemo thing for over three months, I decided to reflect on what emotions are triggered by this weekly event:

I experience JOY when I'm with Mary for the seven hours that we are together on our mission to Tucson. She is the sunshine of my life.

My TRUST is in the nurses and other staff at the Arizona Cancer Center who are not only very professional in performing their duties, but they do their jobs with a cheerful spirit.

Where does FEAR fit into all of this? So far God's love has cast out any fear, for which we are most grateful.

SURPRISE comes from finding a new place to eat and now seeing the desert flowers beginning to bloom.

Mary and I have a habit of holding hands while praying and singing hymns at church on Sunday. Last week as she reached over to take my hand, I was overcome with SADNESS as I realized that one day she'll reach over and I won't be there.

DISGUST and ANGER have not been a part of my emotional trip yet.

ANTICIPATION is an interesting word. I don't relish the thought of getting poked with needles every week, and I don't think it is something I anticipate. My mind and heart are so focussed on enjoying the view of the desert, a new restaurant, encouraging someone at the cancer center, that any negative stuff is not present, Of course I could decide to redirect my focus, and then I might have a not so good day. Philippians 4:8 tells me what to think about if I want to enjoy the God of peace, and I strive to do this daily.